


Talking, Walking, Living.

by WordsOfHeart



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Boyfriends, Brother-Sister Relationships, I really miss mickey and mandy so i did this, Love, M/M, Panic Attack, anxiety attack, being there for eachother, cute boyfriends, manic depression, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 04:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12999912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsOfHeart/pseuds/WordsOfHeart
Summary: When the love you have for someone, is stronger than the darkness you are dealing with.-Aka, Mickey has a panic attack and Ian finds it in him to fight against depression to come to his rescue.





	Talking, Walking, Living.

**Author's Note:**

> I miss Mickey and Mandy sooooo much.   
> I wrote this to fill my Gallavich heart with a little feels.   
> Hope you enjoy xx

He closed the door behind him, swallowing back the tears that were emerging in his eyes. The atmosphere of darkness in emptiness that filled his bedroom, was weighting heavy on his shoulders. He struggled to drag his weak legs along the hall, keeping a steady hand on the wall to avoid collapsing on the ground. His efforts stopped when he reached the couch, falling onto it, body giving out. He grabbed the half empty bottle of beer on the coffee table in front of him, bringing the brown glass to his cracked lips and taking a few well deserved sips. He leaned his head back against the rock solid cushion of their cheep ass sofa, letting out a sigh that he had been holding back for most of the afternoon.

Mandy sat across him, zapping through television channels without much interest. It wasn't long before she turned to look at her brother, knowing by the look on his face that there was no improvement of the shitty situation he was going though.

''He's still not talking?'' She spoke softly, knowing Mickey would keep his emotions tucked deep down into his chest until she would brought the subject up.

''I don't know what I should fucking do anymore.'' He confessed, color of his face matching the white ceiling of their living room.

''Mickey, you're doing everything you can. You know when he's like this it could be for...''

''Days? Weeks? Fucking months? I can't leave him that way for fuck sakes. He won't even eat anything.'' He cut her off, panic rising through his tone. ''I can't see him like this. It's fucking killing him.''

''You know what really worries me?'' She frowned, reaching for her brothers hand and giving it a tight squeeze. ''The fact that it's killing you too and that you're not doing anything about it.''

''I ain't the fucking depressed one here Mandy.''

''That's not my point smart ass. Do you eat when Ian's ill? Do you get some sleep? Be honest with yourself.'' She stated, hating that her brother never seemed to understand the obvious. ''Ian being depressed is as harmful on you, as it is on him. You worry so much that your life completely stops.''

Mickey starred at her with his parted lips, not saying a single word. Deep down, he knew it was true. Whenever Ian was low, the only thing he could think about was making him better, completely forgetting himself along the way.

''You have  dark circles under your eyes that make you look sick. You're as pale as a fucking ghost and your getting so thin it's making me scared. You falling apart won't make Ian feel better, it will only make things worse. If you continue like that Mickey, Ian's no longer going to be the only depressed one in this house.'' She sighed, knowing she was speaking awfully truthfully, but haven wanted to share that speech with her brother for ages. ''Don't get lost within Ian's clouds, because finding your way back home is going to be very fucking hard once you're down that spiral.''

Mickey sighed, keeping his hand locked in his sisters for a little longer. It felt nice talking to someone. It felt nice being taken care of. He hated pity, he really fucking did, but for once, someone noticing that he wasn't _fine_ , seemed extremely heart-warming.

''I...I'm going to go make Ian something to eat.'' He trailed off, slowly taking his hand back and nervously heading off to the kitchen, as if he was feeling ashamed for letting his guard down.

He grabbed a few items from the fridge, fidgeting back and forth without really making any sense. He grabbed a stack of plates from the highest cupboard, having no time to react when he realised that they were all slipping from his shaking hands. He watched them fall, one after the other, noise ringing through his ears and glass shattering all across the tiles. Without moving back, he starred at the mess, unable to focus on anything else than the catastrophic scene in front of him.

That's when his breath cut midway through his lungs. That's when the oxygen stopped flowing in his veins. That's when his heart started beating uncontrollably and his vision got blurry. That's when he grabbed the counter with his hands, trying to keep himself from falling apart, breaking with the rest of the porcelain in mid air. His knuckles turned white as he tried to concentrate on his breathing, unable to focus. Panic rising in the pit of stomach, thinking that he was seconds away from dying.

''Mickey...Mickey! I don't know what to do!'' Mandy shouted as she rushed into the kitchen, sound of broken glass waking up her worry. She had never seen her brother so vulnerable. The sigh was scary and the ignorance of what was happening was even more traumatising.

''Can...Can't...B...Brea...the...'' He heaved, pressing a hand against his chest, desperate for one gasp of fresh air. He was chocking in his own house, helpless.

''Shit...Shit shit shit. I don't fucking know what this is!'' Mandy shouted in utter panic, having the sudden impression that her brother would die right in front of her eyes.

''S...Sit him down.'' A stack of red hair appeared in the creek of the door. The silhouette of the fragile boy was barely holding up on his own, but he was still there. Talking, walking, _living._

Mandy ignored her shock of seeing Ian up for the first time in four days, rushing to Mickey's side to kick the glass away and helping him sit on the cold ground. Ian weakly stumbled across the kitchen, falling to his knees as soon as he reached his boyfriends emplacement. He weakly grabbed both of his hands in his, giving them a squeeze with all the energy he had left. It was faint, but it was enough to make Mickey look up into his empty emerald eyes.

''It's a panic attack...Put your...he...head...between your knees.'' He whispered softly, the movement of his lips taking away every single bit of energy he had left.

Mickey listened, pushing his knees to his chest and slowly letting his stack of black hair fall between them. He focused on his breathing, trying to get it back to a normal pace. His heart was beating so loudly that he could hear the thumps between his ears, echoing through his brain.

''Shh...That's it. Sl...Slowly.'' Ian swallowed, mouth dry and tongue numb.

The older boy miraculously came back to his senses under Mandy's expression of horror. She looked at the scene in despair, thankful that her EMT best friend somehow found it in him to get himself up and moving.

''H...How...?'' Mickey shivered, not believing that the prettiest boy in the word, _his man_ , was sitting across his side on the floor.

''I...I heard...I heard you struggle.'' He breathed out, fighting to stay awake a little longer.

''Hey...Come here.'' He wrapped his arms around the redhead's round shoulders, pulling him gently against his chest. He couldn't help but notice green eyes rolling around.

Mandy wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt, mouthing a few words to Mickey and slowly walking back to the living room, knowing they needed a moment alone, without an audience staring at them in awe.

''I knew...it was anxiety. I...I had to help.'' He whispered against Mickey's neck, exhaustion hitting his body like a ton of bricks. ''I know you're suffering too.''

Mickey's eyes filled with tears, realising that Ian had probably heard every single parts of the conversation with Mandy. He held onto his frail body tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he made his fingers dance along his back.

''It's ok. I'm ok. We're ok.'' Mickey chanted, trying to convince his hurting boyfriend, but also desperately trying to convince himself.

''You...don't have to lie.'' Ian frowned, pushing his nose deeply against Mickey's neck, trying to hide the heavy amount of shame overcrowding his mind. ''I'm mental, but I'm not dumb.''

''Hey...Shh...'' He shushed him, pressing a hand against his wet cheek and lifting his face gently, wanting his weak boy to look into his eyes. He noticed how heavy Ian's eyes were getting, brushing a hand through his hair and whispering lightly into his ear. ''Let's go back to bed.''

Ian gave him a nod, knowing that he had overcome any goals that he had mentally set himself for the day. He gripped weakly onto Mickey's body as he dragged him back to their bedroom, feeling like it was the longest walk he had ever taken. Mickey took the small amount of life shining through Ian, to change his clothes. He slowly helped him raise his hands and get into a new shirt. He also pulled him into a new pair of boxers, looking at his naked body with nothing but love, lust and admiration. He then helped Ian in bed, tucking the blankets way up to his chin and sliding right in by his side. He wrapped both his arms around the thin figure, trying to chase away from his memory the intense scare that he had just encountered.

''Thanks for saving me.'' He forced a small smile, knowing he was being a bit overdramatic since he had simply experienced a panic attack, but still feeling like Ian getting up from bed for him was the biggest proof of love he could of have ever received. He rubbed at his eyes, wiping away the clear tears rolling down his cheeks, letting himself be a baby, just this once.

_''No need to thank me...You save me every day.''_ Ian thought to himself, wishing he had the strength to say that sentence out loud before falling into slumber. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading loves,   
> I know this was a little depressing, but it's still Ian and Mickey being together and in love, so that's always good right? 
> 
> Let me know what you thought in the comments section and don't be afraid to send me some prompts xx  
> Hit me up on tumblr at : uniquexbehaviour 
> 
> À bientôt ! :)


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